Leagues of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Posted on December 22, 2008
I’m fond of what Shakespeare had Polonius say, “Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.”
I’m loyal to my friends and colleagues for a reason: they make it easy. They’ve proven to me time and again why they’re my compatiots.
I especially enjoy our bonds of fealty because they teach me the better side of humanity. They have a superhuman ability to be able to put up with my faults, and they do so with dignity and patience. I’ve insulted, berated, yelled at them, thrown tantrums, walked off sets, shut down. I’ve caused accidents and been responsible for fatal flaws in projects. They’ve had to haul me to the emergency rooms, mopped up my blood and puke, consoled distraught parents and lovers I’ve destroyed. They were true friends to me when I couldn’t be one to them. But what makes me appreciate them is what happened afterward. Later, when I apologized and made amends, those I could still work with and be social with, we had stronger relationships because of it. I haven’t been too afraid to apologize when I’ve made an ass of myself. They make me strong enough, brave enough.
I practiced their generosity on others who would abuse me. It was the test of our friendship. I’m still devastated when it fails. When I fail. When they would betray me, I would then attempt a reconciliation with the best of intentions. They would pay lip service to our negotiations and then we’d fall straight back into the same destructive patterns that led to our conflict in the first place. Eventually, we couldn’t work together anymore.
It reminds me of a specific lesson in Karma I watched one director experience. This director was so powerful, had cornered the market so thoroughly, he could afford to abuse and disdain his casts, crews, and clients. When the market contracted, he couldn’t understand why he was unable to call in a few markers. More, than that, he wanted free work from them (work that was designed to promote him, not them.) He had no band of brothers. No loyal friends he had supported and promoted. I doubt he learned the life lesson.
That’s what your core troupe of merry men is for. To propel each other as part of the whole, one for all and all for one, into larger adventures, grander success. Conversely, you need them and they need you, for shelter and sympathy against calamity. You can’t do it alone. Call on your friends. Adventure and adversity breeds endearment.
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